Ancient Roman Weddings Are Us! |
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| Photograph by kind permission of Monica - milky.way at Flickr |
Look no further!
When we were planning our own wedding in Italy we wanted to know as much as we could about Italian culture, traditions and symbols. We read books, we watched films, looked on the internet, talked to Italian people, learned from our Italian wedding planner - you name it, we did it.
In the process, we realised that many things we look on as modern traditions are based way back in ancient Roman weddings. As ideas about the ceremony have developed over time some wedding traditions have been left behind, but many you will recognise as having been adopted in your own culture while others have become very much a part of Italian weddings today.
Here are some fun (and accurate!) facts about ancient Roman weddings. Have a look, see what you think. Adopt ideas if they appeal to you and adapt or leave them if they don't.
Wedding traditions : the engagement.
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The father of the bride played an important role in the engagement process. Many girls were betrothed when little more than children : twelve was legal, though not common. Although he would generally consult his wife, it was the father who would decide on a suitable partner, he who would do the negotiating with the husband-to-be's family, and he who would foot the party bill. Recent times have seen more couples paying for the engagement and wedding themselves, but it remains traditional in Italy for the bride's family to pay at least part of the cost.
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Were 'hen and 'stag' ('bachelor' and 'bachelorette') parties a part of ancient Roman weddings? There is some evidence that Spartan soldiers held the first such parties solely for men on the eve of the wedding; it was said to be the last chance for the groom to gather money for his own future use. The husband-to-be would feast with his male friends, gamble the night away and say good-bye to the carefree days of bachelorhood, swearing continued allegiance to his comrades.
'Hen' or bachelorette parties, on the other hand, are a relatively recent innovation, probably stemming from America in the 1970s. Ancient Roman brides had no such freedom to party alone.
Engagement ring tradition in ancient Italy.
Rings in ancient Roman culture were an important part of preparations for a wedding. The formal contract, publically acknowledged at the engagement party, was marked by the giving of a ring by the groom to his bride-to-be.
Engagement ring tradition has developed since ancient times, yet Italian culture today still embraces many of the customs of Roman culture.
This page tells you about the origins of engagement and wedding ring culture in Italy; the meaning of the engagement ring; the tradition of 'fede' rings and how they influenced the Irish Claddagh ring; and the traditional wedding ring in Italy today.
Ancient Roman fashion for brides.
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So who made an ideal wife? How would the bride prepare for her wedding day? What was her dress like? How did she wear her hair?
And, importantly, what Italian culture, traditions and customs do modern day weddings still have which existed in ancient Italy? Can we learn anything from ancient Roman weddings?
This page gives practical tips which will help if you are having an Italian-themed wedding, or if you are getting married in Italy and want to follow some very old Italian bridal traditions.
Ancient Roman clothing and the bridegroom.
Italian men in modern wedding preparations may take a more active part in planning the day than was the case a generation ago, but details still tend to fall to the bride.
Ancient Roman weddings were no different. This page describes the part the groom played in his wedding day and the clothes he would have worn.
It also looks at the Italian culture and traditions for men at weddings which have been passed down through the generations from ancient Rome to modern Italy.
Bridesmaid duties in ancient and
modern Italian weddings.
Bridesmaids were as important a part of ancient Roman weddings as they are of weddings today. Many of the bridesmaid duties which are still a central part of Italian weddings began in ancient Rome.
This page tells you everything you need to know about bridesmaid customs in Italian culture, from Roman times to the present day : how the women of ancient Rome still influence bridesmaid traditions; what colour bridesmaid dresses are acceptable; what are current bridesmaid hair ideas; and how many bridesmaids there should be.
The remainder of the guests were, as they are today, family and friends of the bride and groom and their parents.
However, being invited as a guest to a marriage in ancient Rome was viewed as a great honour and to attend was considered a duty. Invitations were rarely turned down and to do so was to risk insulting the families of the bride and groom.
Ancient Roman marriage : the ceremony.
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Around those formalities would have been built as full or as limited an event as the families wished. The evidence of poets and writers of the time suggests that the traditional marriage was an elaborate affair with poetry, singing, speeches and the offering of a sacrifice to the gods.
The ceremonial kiss which concluded the ceremony both represented the couple sharing and joining their lives but additionally at ancient Roman weddings was a formal, legal bond which validated the contract of marriage - hence the modern term "sealed with a kiss".
Ancient Rome and modern wedding traditions : the cake.
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| Woman kneads bread : Pompeii, 1C A.D. |
The symbolism running through all parts of ancient Roman weddings was equally present in the 'cake'. The Roman words for 'cake' and 'bread' were interchangeable and the earliest wedding cakes originating in ancient Rome were made from wheat - the food of fertility.
As time went on the bread was sweetened using raisins and sweet wine, with pine nuts and pomegranate seeds -also symbolising fecundity - adding texture, making it not dissimilar to our fruit wedding cake. But it was not until 18th Century Britain that a visiting Frenchman hit on the idea of adding the icing which is now the standard finish of the classic modern wedding cake.
We know from the writings of the Roman poet and philosopher Lucretius, then, that the tradition of eating cake at a wedding originated in ancient Rome. Simple loaves were brought by guests as a present for the bride and groom to wish them a fruitful union. One loaf was used at the ceremony itself as an offering to the gods before being crumbled over the head of the bride at the end of the formal proceedings, the remainder being fed to each other by the bride and groom, symbolising the new family unit. That custom has evolved into the 'cutting of the cake' the the bride and groom as an essential part of any wedding and, in some cultures, the act of feeding each other the first slice remains.
Scrabbling for any leftover crumbs, guests clearly viewed sharing the newlyweds' 'cake' as a good omen for themselves in much the same way as modern day guests scrabble for the bride's bouquet. It is, of course, traditional still for the cake to be shared amongst guests - although they are no longer expected to scrabble for it!
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| Our Italian wedding cake : a delicious 'millefoglie' | Our UK cake : a fantasy in chocolate designed and made by Jane Edward at 'Cakes by Jane'. |
Auguri! : the role of the feast in ancient Roman weddings.
“It is around the table that friends understand best the warmth of being together.”
This old Italian proverb was as true in Roman times as it is today : eating was, and is, a key part of Italian culture and formed an important part of ancient Roman weddings.
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| Sugared almond confetti, Sulmona |
Formalities over, the wedding party would depart, exactly as we do to this day, for a meal and a celebration. The meal probably took place in the bride's house although there is strong evidence that it would be paid for by the groom or his family. As in present day Italy the meal would be an elaborate one and is likely to have taken several hours to eat. Accompanying the food and lasting well into the night would be a variety of entertainers : music, singing, dancing and ribald jokes were all as much a part of ancient Roman weddings as they are of today's.
The practice of giving sweetmeats to guests at the Roman wedding banquet is documented by Lucretius. A mixture known as 'confetti' comprising dried fruit, nuts and, in particular, honeyed almonds - which symbolised prosperity - was an important part of the feast. From that simple wedding tradition came the now widespread custom of wedding favours. Whilst in Britain and America these have evolved into sometimes very elaborate gifts, Italians tend to remain true to their roots and the sugared almond, in various imaginative forms including flowers, bouquets and the simpler 'bomboniera' wrapped in silk or tulle, remains the favour of choice.
And so to bed ...
As darkness fell the bride would by symbolically "ripped" from her mother's arms by the matron of honour. Carrying a spindle as a symbol of her womanly skills and accompanied by the musicians and guests who would shower her not with paper confetti or with rice but with walnuts, another sign of fertility, she leave her parents' house and walk to her new home where her husband would be waiting. Superstitious to the end, ancient Roman husbands were the first to carry their brides over the threshold; tripping at that point was viewed as a portent of terrible things to come.
For the third and final time upon entering the house the bride would give her consent to behave as an obedient wife before being led to the wedding chamber. Inevitably it would be decorated with yet more signs of fertility, particularly fruit; the guests stood outside singing while the matron of honour helped the bride undress. Together they would offer a sacrifice to the gods for the success of the marriage, and the bride would then be left alone with her husband.
Back to the future : ancient Roman weddings and modern wedding traditions.
The wedding industry in America alone is said now to be worth over $100,000 billion; the average American couple is said to spend between $17,000 and $27,000 on their wedding. The growth of the industry despite the current economic recession has recently been described as "an unstoppable path to profit".
But in terms of wedding culture perhaps ancient Roman life was not, after all, so very different in its key customs from our own. Here is where modern traditions came from. From engagement parties to the giving of a ring; from elaborate hairstyles to sweet-smelling bouquets; from wedding cake to sugared almond favours : the Romans had it all.
Despite the commercialisation of weddings, a modern day marriage ceremony can combine elegance, sophistication and style with an intimate, family-based, cultured event packed with the symbolism, customs and rituals of centuries of tradition.
The practice of giving sweetmeats to guests at the Roman wedding banquet is documented by Lucretius. A mixture known as 'confetti' comprising dried fruit, nuts and, in particular, honeyed almonds - which symbolised prosperity - was an important part of the feast. From that simple wedding tradition came the now widespread custom of wedding favours. Whilst in Britain and America these have evolved into sometimes very elaborate gifts, Italians tend to remain true to their roots and the sugared almond, in various imaginative forms including flowers, bouquets and the simpler 'bomboniera' wrapped in silk or tulle, remains the favour of choice.
And so to bed ...
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For the third and final time upon entering the house the bride would give her consent to behave as an obedient wife before being led to the wedding chamber. Inevitably it would be decorated with yet more signs of fertility, particularly fruit; the guests stood outside singing while the matron of honour helped the bride undress. Together they would offer a sacrifice to the gods for the success of the marriage, and the bride would then be left alone with her husband.
Back to the future : ancient Roman weddings and modern wedding traditions.
The wedding industry in America alone is said now to be worth over $100,000 billion; the average American couple is said to spend between $17,000 and $27,000 on their wedding. The growth of the industry despite the current economic recession has recently been described as "an unstoppable path to profit".
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Despite the commercialisation of weddings, a modern day marriage ceremony can combine elegance, sophistication and style with an intimate, family-based, cultured event packed with the symbolism, customs and rituals of centuries of tradition.
And for that, we have ancient Roman weddings to thank.
Learn more about ancient Roman jewelry here.
More facts about ancient Roman culture.
Go from Ancient Roman Weddings to our home page.
Our wedding cakes and the confetti photo were taken by Cath.
The final image of our wedding venue was provided by Gabriella Lojocarno.
All other images on this page, unless specified, are courtesy of the VRoma.com project.
The final image of our wedding venue was provided by Gabriella Lojocarno.
All other images on this page, unless specified, are courtesy of the VRoma.com project.
